


New Beginning

by HR4



Series: Harry and Ruth A [1]
Category: Spooks | MI-5
Genre: F/M, First Kiss, Gen, Love, Near Death, Romance, Season/Series 09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-29
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 15:18:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1108403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HR4/pseuds/HR4
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set at the end of series 9, when Lucas jumps off of the building. Ruth hears reports of a man falling to his death and has convinced herself it's Harry. When he turns out to still be alive, she is determined to make their relationship work. Another re worked fic, from early in my writing days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Ruth couldn't bear this. Knowing that Harry had… She couldn't even voice the thought. Not even to herself. Her heart was pounding with the fear of what had happened. The total fatality and finality of Harry’s last moments which she could imagine so very easily. And in each scenario it ended with Harry crushed on the pavement, his body bearing little resemblance to the man she loved so completely. She knew too much. She had seen photographs and she knew how distorted the human body could become. Especially when thrown from a building or something else as dramatically fatal. She didn't even glance at Tariq and grabbed her coat. She was going home. She didn't need to think about Harry dying without her ever having had the courage to tell him how she truly felt. It was as though the bottom had dropped out of her world completely and she couldn't stay on the grid a second longer. To be in a place that he should be but never would be again. To be on the grid without Harry felt so wrong.

"Ruth," Tariq called after her. She ignored him and continued to the pods. She normally liked the young techie. But not today. She stepped into the pods and they whirred around her before she left the grid. Today she would be no good to anything except the bottle of merlot she had in her kitchen. It took her a while to get home because her thoughts kept drifting to Harry and she wasn’t paying any attention to her surroundings. She took the tube in the wrong direction, and then chose the wrong line before getting it right, distracted as she was. Harry committing treason for her. Harry being pushed off of a building to his death. Harry smashed on to the concrete. Harry‘s head broken in as his blood stained the pavement… Whenever that thought came around she forced her eyes shut and tried to erase the images from her mind. It didn’t help much, if at all.

She unlocked her door and immediately opened a bottle of wine that was thoughtfully waiting for her. Half an hour later she had started on a second bottle. The phone kept ringing but there was no way she was going to answer it. It had to be someone from the grid and nothing they could say would make her feel any better. Would they tell her that Harry’s body needed identifying, and they’d so sweetly thought of her? She snorted, completely undignified at the thought. Or maybe asking which reading she’d like to make at Harry’s funeral. After all, tact wasn’t a job requirement at MI5. An acceptance of your imminent death seemed to be though.

The phone rang again. She didn’t want consoling, her grief went beyond mere words. What could they tell her? That Harry loved her in spite of everything that had happened. Right now, that really wouldn’t help her. So Ruth got up and unplugged the phone to make the annoying ringing noise stop pounding through her alcohol soaked head. Twenty minutes after that her doorbell rang. She ignored it, hoping that whoever it was would get the message and vanish into the night. They didn't. On the fourth ring Ruth got up from the sofa grumbling to herself. She was only answering the door to make the ringing stop pounding through her head. "In case you didn't get the message, I want to be left alone!" she said loudly throwing the door open.

It was Harry. Harry stood there as clear as day. She looked at him, wondering how much she’d really drunk. Before thinking it through, she reached for him, letting her fingers graze against his cheek. His skin was cold and his stubble caused a slight friction against her fingertips as she dropped her hand in shock. He was really here.

"I'll just go then," he said in an infinitely tired voice.

“What!” she burst out.

“If you want to be left alone,” he said, repeating her own words back to her.

"No!" Ruth shouted quickly. She took a longer look at him, realising that he was on her doorstep. Alive. Truly and physically here, looking at her. Then she fainted. Harry lurched forward to catch her before she hit the floor. After a very stressful day he didn't have the strength or the energy to carry her so he set her on the floor gently, entering her house and closing the door behind him. By the time he had done that she was coming around. "You're alive," she said as her eyelids flickered.

"Yes," Harry replied simply. "I would have called you but you weren't picking up the phone."

"I had visions of you smashed on the concrete," Ruth said. "Your head turned inside out like a crushed watermelon. Do you blame me for not being in a particularly talkative mood?"

"No," he murmured quietly. He reached out to brush a tear away from her cheek. One she hadn't even realised she had shed. Ruth could feel the warmth of his skin and knowing that he was alive and with her, crouched on her landing floor filled her with such a powerful relief that she couldn't hold back the tears. The devastation she had imagined so clearly had been avoided. Harry drew her into his arms. Needing to hold her and unwilling to be restrained, as was his normal behaviour towards her. She couldn’t bear restraint either and she folded herself into his arms, needing his touch urgently. She cried into his shoulder, feeling such comfort that he was holding her, stroking her back with sure hands, his touch burning through her clothes.

When the tears stopped she was aware that his face was only inches away from hers. His arms hadn't loosened their grip on her and she felt safe, something she hadn't felt in many days. Ruth turned her head and lightly kissed Harry's lips. He kissed her back but only for a moment. Ruth looked so confused and hurt when he let her go. "Not now," Harry said in a kind voice, tucking her hair behind her ear gently. "I can tell you've been drinking and you're emotional. And I don't want to take advantage, not when you're like this. It isn't fair."

"But…" Ruth started.

Harry stopped her by putting a finger on her lips. "I don't have super human restraint, Ruth," he said with his eyes sparkling. "So I am going to go before I do something that you might regret when you're sober." He got up and she followed as he opened the door.

"Thanks for not dying on me," Ruth said in a small voice. "I could say the same to you," Harry said. He intended to give her a goodbye kiss on the cheek but Ruth turned her face so he kissed her lips instead. It was a good minute before they broke apart. "I’m going to go," he repeated, breathing heavily. Ruth didn't bother arguing with him. She smiled and nodded as he vanished into the night. As she closed the door behind him she touched her lips softly, still feeling his kiss there. The taste of him. A faint hint of whisky and a spice which had to be simply the taste of him. She felt a little hollow when she remembered the last time she had done that. When she was leaving on the dockside, to an uncertain future. At the time, leaving Harry permanently, the kiss had been one of total desperation and abandonment. A kiss full of promises destined to be unmet and a lonely future. But this kiss wasn't an ending, she reminded herself. This was a brand new beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

Ruth turned up late to work the next day for only the second time in her entire MI5 career. The truth was she had been sleeping off her over indulgence from the night before. She knew she wouldn't get a hard time from anyone, considering that she had recently been kidnapped by a former friend, injected with a sedative and been a very short amount of time away from certain death. As well as the unspoken issue of the man she loved having almost been thrown off of a building. All in all, a very bad day all round.

She sat behind her desk and glanced across to Harry's office as she did every morning. He was watching her too, with a glint in his eye. She looked away with a small smile and switched her computer on. Five minutes later she glanced up again and saw that he was still watching her. She moved her attention back to her screen, knowing she was blushing. She was a grown woman! How could just a look from this man have her turning as red as a school girl?

She should be upset about Lucas dying. Jumping from a building because he felt he had nothing left, but she just couldn’t seem to manage it. After all, the man who died had nearly killed her and threatened to kill Harry. She knew she should be sorry for the colleague she’d known, but in the last few days, that man hadn’t existed. The man who’d jumped from a building in the middle of London hadn’t been the man she’d worked with. Because that Lucas would never have tried to kill her. So she couldn’t bring herself to be sorry that Lucas had died. And with Harry looking at her like that through the glass, he faded from her mind surprisingly and maybe shamefully quickly.

An hour later Ruth was getting tired of her face burning from the force of Harry's gaze from across the grid. She picked up some files, to give her an excuse to go and see him. She opened his office door and shut it behind her, feeling the space between them instantly fill with tension. She placed the files on his desk without saying a word.

"Recovered?" he asked with a small grin. Ruth smiled at her hands.

"Yes," she said quietly. She sat down and studied his face for a moment. "That looks painful," she said, indicating his forehead where Lucas had hit him with the butt of his gun.

"It doesn't matter," he said shrugging. Ruth fought her natural instincts to run and hide so instead she reached across the desk and held his hand lightly.

"I was very… relieved that you were safe," she said quietly. Harry didn't know what to say, but took comfort from her hand holding his gently. It was the most they‘d touched in years, if you didn’t count lat night. "But if you don't stop looking at me like that, I am never going to get any work done." He smiled at that.

"Fine. I'll see you later," he said quietly. She regretfully abandoned his hand on the desk and left his office. She felt happy but there was going to be a conversation between them that she wasn't looking forward to.

* * *

 

Harry stood on the roof after disconnecting his phone call from the Home secretary. One that basically told him that his MI5 career was over. Or if not over, looking decidedly shaky.

"Is everything okay?" a familiar voice asked him. He turned to see Ruth walking towards him and they both surveyed the London skyline. It was such a beautiful city, and at quiet moments like this it hit her how much she loved London. It was the best city in the world. Although Paris did have it’s merits, she had to concede.

"No," he said slowly. "Its not okay. I committed treason so there is going to be an inquiry into my whole career. It doesn't look good Ruth," he said in what was a blatant understatement.

"Why did you do it?" she asked quietly. It had been the question she had been dying to ask him but she'd always lost her nerve. She wasn’t entirely sure she was ready to hear the honest answer. That Harry valued her life over ho many millions of people? That was such an intense declaration that she wasn’t sure she’d be able to cope with it. She watched his reaction closely, to make sure he didn’t try to lie to her.

"Beyond your pay grade,“ he said with a smile which let her know that he didn’t care in the slightest. “It was a fake," he said slowly. "Albany. It wasn't real. It was only ever meant to be a deterrent."

Ruth smiled and closed her eyes, relieved. Harry could see the tension go out of her. "I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that." Harry looked at her, waiting for her to continue, to explain. "I felt so incredibly guilty. That you gave away something that could kill so many people, just to make sure I was safe. Now, to know that it doesn't have that power… I'm glad." She still had her eyes closed when Harry kissed her. She was surprised but enjoyed the moment. His lips were soft and cool on hers, and she guessed he’d been on the roof for some time. He flicked his tongue against her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to him, pressing her body against him. Their coats were thick, and neither could really feel much, except the reassuring body of the other.

"I have to ask you something," Ruth said when he let her go for a second.

"Yes?" Harry asked.

"If it had been real, would you have given it to Lucas to save me?" Ruth held her breath, waiting for him to answer. It took a few moments before he did. He held her lightly, fingers splaying on her back before speaking.

"No." Ruth nodded but he hadn't finished. "It would have easily been the hardest thing I'd ever have had to do, but I couldn't have given it to him. It would have killed too many people. I would have found another way to save you though."

"There wasn't another way, Harry," she said quietly.

"Ruth…"

"No, I wasn't criticising," she said quickly putting her palm on his chest in reassurance. "You're just proving to me that you're the man I always thought you were." She blushed, feeling that she'd said too much but it was true. She felt like she should move her hand but it stayed there of its own accord. Harry still said nothing as minutes of silence rolled by. She could tell he was thinking hard but he didn't seem inclined to share his thoughts. Ruth sighed, impatiently.

"Its late and I'm going home," she said slowly. "Unless… you want me to stay with you?" It came out as a nervous question, one that betrayed her lack of confidence, rather than how she‘d intended it.

"I'll give you a lift," he said in a calm voice. Ruth fought her natural instinct to say no and smiled. She had to change her bad habits where Harry was concerned, and saying no was one of them.

"Thanks."


	3. Chapter 3

Harry had let his driver go for the evening which meant he was driving through the London streets himself, with Ruth in the passenger seat. He was desperately trying to focus on the road as opposed to the curve of her neck and it was proving surprisingly difficult. After a silent car ride filled with tension and not much else he pulled up outside her house.

"Thanks Harry," she said quietly. She picked up her bag and felt Harry's fingers touch the back of her hand lightly. She caught his eye and couldn't look away from him. Slowly he leant towards her. So slowly that she could back away from him if she wanted to. She didn't want to. He gently touched his lips to hers. She kissed him back eagerly. A lot of promise and possibility was held in that kiss and Ruth was enjoying every single second of their embrace.

After an incredibly intense minute Ruth drew back from him. "Do you want to come in?" she whispered against his lips with her eyes closed.

"Are you sure?" he asked and her eyes opened. It seemed as if he was asking more than just that simple question. So much more. She didn’t reply with words, instead she kissed him again, her tongue exploring the terrain of his mouth with enthusiasm.

"Yes," she replied firmly. Harry's eyes were twinkling as she touched his hand gently. “Come inside.”

* * *

 

Harry watched Ruth sleeping, feeling his heart ache with happiness as he did so. Her dark hair was fanned messily across her face and he wanted to brush his fingers through it but he worried he might wake her. He thought over last night and the blurred images and sensations which filled his mind. She had wanted him and badly. Once they were inside the house she wasted no time in taking his jacket off and then loosening his shirt buttons. He had been spurred on by her enthusiasm and by the time they reached her bedroom, all they’d been wearing was their underwear.

Even with the duvet covering everything but her head, he remembered the perfect shape of her breasts. They filled his hands exquisitely, and he could still remember their warmth. He spent several minutes watching her until his mobile phone started ringing. He picked it up halfway through the first ring. He glanced at Ruth, pleased she was still asleep.

"This had better be good," he growled down the phone as he got out of bed and walked into the hall to leave Ruth to her peaceful dreams.

"Harry," the Home Secretary's voice said, ignoring the earliness of the hour. "Look, I know its early but I have some bad news I thought you'd want to know as soon as possible."

"Well?" he asked feeling his heart sink.

"You're suspended from work pending the result of the inquiry," the Home Secretary said. "You will be informed of this officially when you go into the office this morning. Also there is to be no unauthorised contact with anyone from section D."

"Right," Harry replied tersely, feeling hollow.

"And Harry, they mean it," Towers said. "Now, I'm saying this as a friend but if you value your career at all, please, please avoid Ruth Evershed. After Albany, any contact with her could seriously damage the result of the inquiry."

"I don't know if I can do that," Harry said slowly and honestly.

“Harry, you’re needed in Thames House,” The Home Secretary said. “You've worked your whole life for the country and your career. Throwing it all away because you’re screwing your analyst is not the Harry Pearce I know.”

“William, do you really think I’d throw my career away on a quick fuck?” he said, pushed past politeness through sheer irritation. “She has never been that, so please don’t be so crass.”

"I shouldn’t have put it that way, but I'm not debating this with you Harry. Just do it," Towers replied. "It will make everything a lot easier."

"Thank you for your advice," Harry said before disconnecting the call. He closed his eyes trying to work out how he was going to get out of this. Nothing came to mind. He switched his phone off, wanting no further interruptions and went back to join Ruth. He slipped back into bed as she stirred and started to wake up.

"What's wrong?" she asked sleepily.

"Nothing," he lied. "Go back to sleep."

"How could I possibly sleep when you're worrying so loudly," Ruth said sitting up in bed and watching Harry's frown. She stroked his face gently. "What is it?"

Harry sighed before answering, touching her hair lightly. "I've been suspended from MI5. I'm not allowed contact with anyone from section D at all."

"Oh," Ruth replied feeling a part of her world fall away. She didn't know what to say. She looked at them sharing her bed, neither weaing a stitch of clothing. "Does this count as contact?" The glint in her eyes had him smiling.

"I'm not going to let that happen," he said quietly. "No power on earth is going to keep me away from you. Not after this long. After everything that's happened between us."

"That's good to hear," Ruth said with a wry smile. "But I have a feeling that practically its going to be harder than that."

"I don't care," Harry said. He leant towards her and kissed her slowly and passionately, his hands tangling in her hair. In spite of the worries she had about their immediate future, she felt her self control slip away as she fought to get oxygen back into her lungs. Ruth sighed and rolled her eyes as her alarm clock went off. She reached across and turned it off but the moment was broken. Ruth got out of bed and started getting dressed, feeling her happiness draining away in an instant.

"Ruth," Harry said quietly. No one else said her name quite the way he did. A full caress over those four letters. It was enough to make her stop and face him. "I have no desire to be escorted out of Thames House so I won't be at work today. But I will sort this out," he added quietly. "Trust me."

"I do trust you, Harry," she said quietly. “Can they keep us apart?” she asked. “And give me the honest answer, not the answer which we both want to be true.”

“Yes,” he said heavily. “They probably can. And you should go to work and I should go home, otherwise we might be in a bit of trouble. Or I will be at any rate,” he said.

She turned into his arms and gave him a slow, lingering kiss. It was one that was going to have to last a long time. Because they didn't know when they would next have the chance to see each other.


	4. Chapter 4

Ruth was sat behind her desk as usual when Beth and Dimitri came onto the grid. Tariq turned up five minutes after them and they were all sat working when an unknown man in a suit arrived. Everyone looked up from their desk as he approached them all. He didn't waste any time before starting his clearly rehearsed speech.

"I am Steven Fifer. It is with regret that I have to inform you that Harry Pearce has been suspended, pending an investigation into his MI5 career. This is a result of his serious lack of judgement regarding the Albany case file." Ruth felt like she was sitting under a bright spotlight as everyone looked at her with those words. She focused on her hands and concentrated on listening to what he was saying, rather than catching people‘s eyes.

"I am going to be his temporary replacement and running this section until further notice. There is to be no contact between Harry Pearce and any members of section D until this has been resolved." He stopped speaking and approached Ruth's desk as the general hubbub of conversation broke out again.

"I'd like a word with you in private, Miss Evershed," he said in a low voice. Ruth nodded and followed him to the meeting room with a feeling of foreboding. Nothing good could come from this. They both sat down and Steven Fifer looked very uncomfortable.

"I try not to listen to everything I hear in a place like this," he said slowly. "But I need to know about your relationship with Harry Pearce."

Ruth sighed and refrained from rolling her eyes with difficulty. She couldn't even word it to herself so he had no hope of getting anything out of her. She wasn’t entirely sure what her relationship with Harry was at this very moment, but she knew what she hoped for. Something private that she wouldn’t share with Fifer.

"We're good friends," she said eventually. "Over the years he has sacrificed so many people, he would have tried to save anyone. It didn't make any difference that it was me who had been kidnapped." She wasn't sure that was true but her brain was whirring so fast that she had to say something that could explain the mess they were now in. Steven sighed as if he didn't entirely believe her, but Ruth didn't really care.

"Can you abide by having no contact with him?" he asked.

"Do I have a choice?" Ruth said acidly, avoiding giving a direct answer. She didn’t want to be tied by her words in the future, as she didn’t know what was coming.

"You have a reputation for being a very resourceful woman," he replied. "I daresay that you would get into contact with him if you thought you could get away with it."

"Can I?" Ruth enquired carefully, wondering if this man might not be so bad after all. In fact, if he hadn't been Harry's replacement she might quite like him. After all, Steven Fifer hadn't asked to be put in this situation, had he?

"You're a spook, Ruth," he said with a small smile. "I will deny this if it ever gets out but I am sure you're more than capable of finding inventive ways to communicate with him. But be careful. I respect Harry, I always have done and if this is the reward we give to a man who defends his country for three decades…" He sighed and then continued. "I don't want this to go badly for him. He doesn't deserve it. So don't get caught." Ruth smiled and nodded at the table as Steven left her alone to ponder his words.

Ruth got home late that night. It had been a very stressful day, not least because Harry wasn't there. Some Russians had decided to keep a dozen civilians at gun point just to gain attraction for their cause and three British civilians had died. She opened her front door and stared at the doormat at her post. One large padded envelope stood out as she noticed it had been hand delivered. She quickly broke the seal. Her heart rate increased when she immediately recognised Harry's handwriting. Sometimes she felt like she'd recognise his handwriting even if she went blind.

_Use this to call me. Whenever you want to. Use the programmed number. It's safe. Trust me. H_

Ruth rifled through the envelope and found a brand new pay as you go phone. She locked her door and walked through to her living room and sat on her sofa. Taking a deep breath she dialled the only number in its address book. It only took one ring for Harry to pick up.

"Hello," he said quietly. That one word from him made her knees go weak and she suddenly felt glad she was sitting down.

"How are you?" Ruth asked quietly.

"Okay," he said. "I've been called in for questioning already. It looks like they are just trying to pin something on me. They don't care what it is, as long as I'm gone." After a long day without him it was a relief to hear his voice. “I saw the news,” he said. “Bad day?”

“Yeah,” she said. “You could say that. All I want to do is have a long hot bubble bath.”

“Don’t give me images like that,” he said. She chuckled lightly before they fell into silence, each waiting for the other to speak.

"Ruth, I wanted to talk to you about last night," Harry said carefully, measuring each word before he spoke it. "You seemed so unhappy this morning… when you got dressed, I was wondering if you regretted it."

"No Harry," she replied quickly. "Last night was wonderful. It was perfect," she added, blushing slightly. "The way it felt… No, I have no regrets. I just hate to think of this ridiculousness about you being a…" it took a few tries for her to finish the sentence. "Traitor. It‘s so inaccurate after all you‘ve done for the country."

"Yes, well we can't do much about that can we?" Harry said trying to lighten the mood. "Who's my replacement?"

"Steven Fifer," Ruth said. "He's not bad really. Obviously, we would all rather work with you but it could be much worse. He could be much, much worse."

"Careful Ruth or I'll start to get jealous," Harry said. Ruth laughed, feeling her cares fade away in response to his voice.

“Do you know much about him?”

“Apart from the fact he’s office bound, no,” Harry said. “He doesn’t go into the field.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” she said, reminding him subtly about her own job description.

“Absolutely not,” he said, backtracking. “I meant…”

“You meant that he’s not a patch on you,” Ruth said. “And you’re right.”

“You think more of me than I’m worth,” he said quietly.

“Maybe,” she conceded.

"When this is all over I am going to take you out to dinner at a fabulously overpriced restaurant. If you want to."

"Of course I do," Ruth said. "I'm just worried."

"I know you are," he replied. They fell into silence but it still took them a long time to say goodbye and disconnect the call.


	5. Chapter 5

Harry groaned as he heard his phone ringing. He glanced at the clock wondering who on earth would be calling him at six in the morning. Then common sense caught up to him and he realised which phone was the one that was ringing. It had to be Ruth.

"Hello," he said croakily.

"Hi," Ruth said briefly. "I know its early but I had an idea I wanted to run past you. I thought I could get to the grid soon and begin early but I needed to talk to you first."

"What is it?" Harry asked settling back in bed and letting her voice wash over him like a restorative. She sounded well rested and at ease, which made him smile.

"I wondered if we could find out enough about the members of the panel who are investigating you. If we find out enough of their dirty secrets to get them on side then this might vanish very quickly. What do you think?"

"Its not foolproof," Harry said slowly. "But I know enough about them that it might just work. Are you sure you want to help with this?"

"Of course I do," Ruth said plainly. "Why else would I have suggested it? Besides, I don't think I flatter myself by my confidence to be able to dig up dirt on anyone in the country, never mind some shady desk spooks with histories I'm sure they wouldn't want advertised."

"No, you don't flatter yourself, Ruth," Harry said with a smile. "Okay, I'll give you the names. There's quite a few of them."

"Great, it's just more secrets to uncover," Ruth said in a falsely bright voice getting a pen and sheet of paper out. She wasn't entirely sure she could trust technology so she was going to keep everything confined to paper only until she had the required intelligence.

"Okay, first we have Robert Scott…"

* * *

 

Ruth had been on the grid for hours when the rest of the team showed up diligently working. It had proven to be quite a challenge. Spooks knew how to cover their tracks but she had found enough to eliminate the threat of five members of the panel. Not to mention that Polly Ask had had an abortion a year ago, which her husband had no idea about. Presumably she would like to keep it that way.

Throughout the day she cast Harry's office surreptitious glances and saw Steven Fifer watching her. She had a good idea that he knew what she was up to. But every time he left his office she had perfectly innocent information on her computer screen. If investigating Arab terrorists could ever be classified as "innocent."

She fixed a pleasant smile on her face as he emerged from Harry's office yet again. Beth and Dimitri watched her curiously. She had the biggest reason to be angry about Harry's replacement and here she was smiling at him. For her part Ruth wanted to keep him on side so he didn't get too suspicious about her work, or lack thereof.

Steven talked to Beth, Dimitri and Tariq about their current operation. He then approached Ruth and asked for a private word in his office. Ruth ignored the stab of anger she felt as he said "his office," but followed him anyway. Beth watched them leave with raised eyebrows.

"Do you think…?" Beth asked letting the unformed question hang in the air.

"Think what?" Dimitri asked. He then finished her thought for her. "That our new boss has got the hots for Ruth? Yes I do think that. The way he looks at her when he thinks no ones watching. And judging from her smile, she doesn't mind in the slightest."

"Poor Harry," Beth said quietly as the blinds in his former office were drawn. Dimitri had been watching too and glanced at Beth as soon as he couldn't see into the office. "He commits treason for her. He gives away a state secret because he wants her safe and well. It looks like he might lose his job and the woman he loves is going after someone else already." Beth sighed. "I never thought she was heartless."

"We might just have the wrong end of the stick," Dimitri said, not really believing it.

"Maybe," Beth said doubtfully. "I wish I could talk to Harry."

"What is it?" Ruth asked sliding the door shut, feeling pained that Harry wasn't here, where he should be.

"Where are we on the Arabs?" Steven asked. Ruth took a deep breath and began to talk parrot fashion about their latest intelligence. Steven was pacing the office and then drew the blinds as she was nearing the end of her monologue.

"And Harry?" he asked. Ruth kept her mouth firmly shut because she wasn't answering that. He didn't say anything but simply stared at her as the silence continued. After a full minute Ruth shrugged her shoulders.

"I don't know," she lied.

"I don't believe that," Steven said.

"What's going to happen to him?" Ruth asked. She had been fighting that but she really needed to know the worst case scenario.

"He'll be sacked, most likely," Steven said. "They won't have enough to put him in prison." Ruth closed her eyes briefly and let out a small sigh. She could live with that. As long as he wasn't in prison, she could live with that. The thought of Harry being robbed of his freedom was too much for her to bear. She opened her eyes in surprise when she felt a soft kiss planted on her lips.

"No," she said instantly, backing away from him as much as the limited space would allow. This was wrong in so many ways.

"You're not living up to your reputation, Ruth," he said smiling in a way that made Ruth lividly angry.

"And what reputation is that?" she asked in a dangerously quiet voice.

"Everyone knows that you sleep with your bosses to get ahead," he said. Ruth felt like she had been slapped. "All that business with Harry… well, we're quite a clever bunch Ruth. It didn't take long to work it out."

"For your information, I have never, ever, slept with my boss, no matter who I‘ve been working for." She chose to temporarily forget her night with Harry because they technically hadn't been working together at the time. And she hadn't even seen him since, she thought with a sinking feeling in her stomach. As that thought hit her she felt two hands on her shoulders.

"Get your hands off of me, or I will file a report for sexual harassment so fast, you won’t have even sat down," Ruth said with more confidence than she felt, fire in her blue eyes. He let her go but kept speaking.

"And who would believe you?" he said quietly. "The woman who has been carrying on with Harry Pearce for the best part of a decade. Who has been presumed dead once already in very shady circumstances, and was basically responsible for her former boss losing his job, against the word of the man who was brought in to clear the mess of section D out." Ruth felt so angry she couldn't even bring herself to speak. She gathered her abandoned files about the Arabs and then turned back to him.

"Don't you ever touch me again. And don't you talk to me about anything that doesn't relate to work or I will carry out my threat. I promise you I will," she said coldly as she left his office.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Ruth stayed on the grid until the clock hit five exactly. She had no intention to stay any longer than she absolutely had to, to fulfil her requirements and she promptly picked up her coat, saying goodbye to Beth, Dimitri, and Tariq as she did so. She stood in the pods and watched as Steven Fifer came from his office. She threw him a look of pure loathing before leaving Thames House.

Ruth had had a quick shower and she was curled up on her sofa in her old jeans and a comfy T shirt which she would never wear in public. Too baggy and unflattering, but they really were her comfort clothes. She was debating whether to call Harry or not. She sighed and thought she might as well do it because her restraint wasn't infinite and she knew she would call eventually, if only to hear the reassuring tone of his voice.

"Ruth?" Harry said, concern filling his voice. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, why would I not be okay?" she asked confused.

"It's half past six," he said. "I've never known you to be home so early." Ruth smiled at how well he knew her. She should have known he would have been watching the clock.

"I'm fine," she said and immediately knew she'd made a mistake. He had heard the tremor in her voice which she had been trying to hide. Trying and failing as it turned out.

"Right, I'm coming over," he said straight away. He couldn't possibly leave her alone when she was so clearly upset. If Ruth needed him, of course he’d be there.

"Harry, you're under surveillance, you can't come over," she said practically.

"I don't care," he replied. "I'll lose my tail. I have to see you." Ruth was about to argue further but there was no one there. He had already hung up the phone and all she was listening to was the dialling tone. Ruth closed her eyes, incredibly worried about him. If he were seen coming over to her house it might make everything worse and she couldn't bear that to happen. His career was not worth the comfort she might feel, no, would feel at having him here with her. But she had to admit her heart was lighter at the thought of seeing him.

It took an hour for him to arrive. One of the longest hours of Ruth's life, terrified as she had been that he would be seen on the way over, and the inquiry would sack him on the spot, as he was clearly compromised when it came to her. There was a small tap on her back door and she quickly opened the door and threw it shut behind him. Immediately, she turned and almost fell into his arms as he held her carefully. It seemed like so long since she had last seen him, though it wasn’t really. She closed her eyes, breathing in the wonderfully familiar scent of him as he rubbed her back gently. It took several minutes for them to break apart, enjoying their silent reunion as they were.

"You weren't followed?" Ruth whispered, still held in Harry's arms.

"I was, but I lost all four of them," Harry said, kissing the top of her head. "When we get out of this I think I'm going to need to retrain all the young spies. It was surprisingly easy for me to lose them." Ruth smiled into his chest. Eventually they moved from standing in the hallway to her living room, sitting next to each other on the sofa.

"What is it, Ruth?" he asked carefully. It reminded her of what had happened at work and she could feel the anger rise in her.

"I could kill that bloody idiot!" she said loudly. Harry chuckled at her reaction.

"I've never seen you this angry before."

"I don't think I've ever been this angry before in my life!" Ruth said loudly. "I want to throttle him."

"Let me guess, Steven Fifer," Harry said shrewdly. "Did you talk about me like this when I was your boss?"

"No," Ruth said. "Because you never deserved it like that ignorant, annoying idiot does!"

"What happened?" Harry asked calmly, holding her hand gently, his thumb stroking her skin gently and soothingly.

"You're not going to like it," Ruth said trying to put off the inevitable.

"Tell me anyway," he said.

She sighed. "He called me into your office, which, by the way, I hate that he's taken over. We were discussing the latest about the Arab terrorists we've been watching. Then he…" she tailed off unable to continue. Harry sat there in silence waiting for her to continue. "He kissed me." She felt Harry stiffen. "I told him no, and he basically called me a slut who sleeps with anyone she can to get ahead in her career."

"I'm going to kill him," Harry said quietly in a menacing tone.

"Because that would help," Ruth said sarcastically. "I told him if he touched me again I'd report him for sexual harassment. Then he said that no one would ever believe me because I've been with you for the best part of a decade." Ruth sighed heavily. It had been a bad day and retelling it to Harry hadn't been exactly easy. The anger coursing through him didn’t reassure her either, and she could feel the energy in the room. Harry was very, very angry.

"I am going to kill him," Harry repeated. "Did he do anything else to you Ruth?" he asked seriously.

"No," she said firmly, seeing the doubt in his eyes. "I promise, apart from patronising me and making me feel like a cheap whore."

"I'm going to rip that bastard limb from limb when I get my hands on him," Harry said and Ruth knew he wasn't entirely joking.

"Trust me, his job won't be easy when I'm this annoyed," Ruth said with a smirk. "I'm going to be uncooperative, unhelpful and do the bare minimum which is required of me. Plus I'm going to leave at 5pm every evening without fail."

"I'm glad I never wound you up like this," Harry said lightly, trying to hide his anger about his successor.

"Oh you did. And frequently too," Ruth said. "But for very different reasons. I was mostly infuriated by you because you wouldn't kiss me."

"Well, I won't make that mistake again," he said kissing her gently and slowly. Ruth felt the world fall away, enjoying his touch on her skin as he cradled her face softly. She wasn't sure how they managed it but they ended up horizontal on the sofa.

"I've been thinking about you all day," Ruth said quietly as he released her lips for a second. Harry chuckled quietly as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Well, that's good to hear," he whispered into her ear, sending shivers down her spine. "What are you going to do about Steven Fifer?"

"Not think about him at all until 9 am tomorrow morning," Ruth said stubbornly. "How long can you stay here for?"

"A few hours at least," he said with his eyes twinkling. Ruth blushed as she could see clearly exactly what he was thinking. She wondered if they’d even make it to her bedroom, or if they’d just carry on on her sofa. She was very eager to find out.


	7. Chapter 7

Ruth was leaning on her elbow in bed, watching Harry get dressed with sad eyes. "I don't want you to go," she said slowly.

"I know," he said, refraining from looking at her with great difficulty. If he looked at her he would want to stay, and that would lead to a long and difficult conversation that he didn't want to have because it would be painful for both of them. He sighed as he shrugged his jacket back on. Ruth was watching him carefully, treasuring every second he was there because soon he wouldn't be. After a moment he leant over her and kissed her goodbye in a passionate embrace. He let go of her regretfully and headed towards the door.

"I forgot," Ruth said quickly. "I have some information for you. About your interrogators." Harry raised his eyebrows as Ruth reached for a file by her bed. She handed it to Harry. "I would have given it to you earlier but I was… distracted." Harry flicked through it, surprised at the amount of information she had managed to get in just one day. But then, why was he surprised? This was Ruth after all. He leaned back to her and kissed her cheek softly.

"I love you," he whispered into her ear, his breath warm against her skin. Ruth looked at him surprised as he drew away from her.

"Harry…"

"Don't," he said cutting her off with a small smile. "I just… I had to say it." Without another word he left her house into the darkness of the night. Ruth watched the door as if he were still standing there. She could feel a sharp ache in her heart. One that only seemed to be caused by his absence. She curled up tightly trying to get some sleep but she wasn't very successful. Because whenever her eyes closed, all she saw was Harry's face.

* * *

 

It took another three days until Ruth had the information that Harry needed from her. Her resolve to come into work on time instead of early had fallen through on the first attempt. She realised she could get a lot of Harry's research done while she was alone on the grid so that is what she proceeded to do. Her temporary boss didn’t believe in coming in before nine o’clock. Steven Fifer had completely ignored her since that day, and that was fine with her. When she had got all the relevant information to Harry‘s case, she sent him a text message from her secure mobile phone.

 _I have the information you need. 31 bus. Just after 5pm. R x_. She hit send and it took maybe a minute for a reply to come back to the phone.

 _Great. I'll see you then. H x_. Ruth smiled. Knowing she was going to be seeing Harry in a matter of hours made the day go by much smoother and it made her feel much happier.

Taking a seat on the top deck of the bus she couldn't help but remember the time she had last passed Harry a memory stick on a bus. It was a double edged memory because it reminded her of the first time he had let his hand linger over hers longer than necessary. The first time she felt a real spark of hope that he might feel the same way about her. But he had been in trouble at the time and that hurt her to remember. And it had been such a long time ago that she wondered why they hadn’t managed to get together until recently. It seemed surreal to her almost. That she was now in a relationship with Harry after all this time.

She didn't even try to read a book on this occasion. She knew it was pointless because she would never become absorbed in someone else's life. Not at a time like this. Every nerve felt like it was on full alert, trying to sense his presence. Because of this it didn't make her jump when she heard someone coming up the stairs and take a seat behind her.

"Nice night out?" came a beautifully familiar voice. Ruth smiled, relieved that he had found her but she fought her instincts and didn't turn around to face him. Without a word she stretched her arm out along the back of the chair, fighting the memory of that night so many years ago. Harry reached up to her hand and took the memory stick, slipping it into his jacket pocket. However he reached back almost instantly and held her hand gently. Ruth could feel her heart rate increase as she ached for him to touch her. When he did, her heart raced. How long would this last? This urgency to be touched by him.

The bus stopped and the only other occupant of the top deck got off. Ruth sighed with relief but she could feel the tension through the air. She felt goose bumps rise on her neck as Harry began to play with a strand of her hair. After several minutes she let go of his hand and turned to face him.

"Stop it," she said seriously. She saw several emotions flick over his face in quick succession. Confusion, hurt, disappointment.

"If you keep touching me like that, I am not going to have the willpower to get off of this bus without you. So please stop, even though I don't want you to," she explained. Harry smiled, pleased at that response. Ruth looked out of the window and realised the bus was slowing down at her stop. She got up and touched Harry's hand lightly. She paused as she was passing him.

"I love you too," she whispered squeezing his hand before leaving him alone on the bus. Harry watched her leave, feeling his heart soar at those wonderful words, which he hadn’t really expected her to say to him.

* * *

 


	8. Chapter 8

Ruth was on the grid working in the middle of the morning when Steven Fifer approached her. She glanced around her and noticed that no one was around her except Tariq who was so absorbed in his computer he might as well be invisible.

"Miss Evershed, I would like a word without you," he said calmly.

"About what?" she asked acidly.

"Come through to my office," he said.

Ruth flinched as if she had been hit. "I'm not going to go into Harry's office with you," she replied bluntly. "If you want to talk, talk."

"I don't appreciate that tone," he said, leaning over her desk, uncomfortably close to her. "Now I know that you are very good at your job but we have to work together so don't make this any more difficult than it has to be. I am sorry if I insulted you. I didn't mean to." Ruth rolled her eyes, knowing that he had meant every word he had said. "But who knows how long we will have to work together?"

"Not long at all," Harry said emerging from the pods. "Fifer, my office. I want a word with you. Several words, actually.” Fifer didn’t move an inch, still leaning over Ruth’s desk but glaring at Harry with intense dislike. “Now," Harry added in a tone which didn’t take arguing. Harry walked purposefully to his office, sparing Ruth a brief glance as he did so. Steven followed him and he shut the door behind himself.

"I hadn't expected to see you within the walls of Thames House again," Steven said with a barely concealed sneer.

"Amazingly they have found that there is absolutely no case to answer," Harry said with a smile. "I have managed to convince them of my good intentions and that I am no threat to the country. With my exemplary career and history, I am one of the whiter members of MI5.” He wasn’t white, but when compared with people on the JIC he was one of the more… moral people. “As such I have been reinstated. Which means you can leave. Now."

"But…"

"And let me give you a word of advice," Harry continued. "If you ever threaten any member of my team again, I will make sure that your days are numbered. I mean it."

"Anyone? Or just Ruth Evershed?" Steven asked, incredibly annoyed that he was being kicked out. Harry walked closer to Steven, almost feeling his blood pressure rise as he stared at the slimy git.

"I mean anyone," Harry said. "But if you ever touch her again. Ever, I don't think I will be held responsible for my actions."

"You don't have the guts," Steven said nastily. "Anyway, its not like she said no to me," he lied. "Practically begging for it." He never got any further because Harry punched him in the face with as much force as he could muster.

"Get out of here," Harry said menacingly. Steven Fifer didn't wait for another word or another punch. He scowled at Harry and left his office. Harry watched as Steven Fifer walked into the pods and left the grid behind. He was soon joined by Ruth who didn't bother knocking, but closed the door quickly so they had a little privacy.

"So… you're back," Ruth said calmly.

"Yes. Thanks to your incredible research the inquiry has been dropped," Harry said. "No case to answer and I've been reinstated." Ruth smiled.

"Oh that's good news," she said happily as relief flowed through her body. She smiled at him warmly before bringing up the next point which she just had to. "You punched Steven Fifer?" Ruth said raising her eyebrow, trying to refrain from laughing.

"Well, he deserved it," Harry said. "The way he treated you. I couldn't stand the way he talked about you." Ruth sat down in front of his desk and took his hand gently in hers. She touched his scraped knuckles feeling a little happy and very touched that he had hit someone for her.

"You didn't have to hit him," Ruth said quietly with a small smile.

"But you're pleased that I did," Harry summarised grinning at her.

"Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little flattered," Ruth said blushing slightly. "I know I shouldn't be but…" she let the thought trail off as her fingers kept touching the back of his hand. "Anyway I should get back to work," Ruth said. "And I'm glad you're back where you belong." Ruth smiled as she left his office, sitting back behind her computer. It took five minutes until an email popped up on screen. It was from Harry.

_I did promise to take you out to dinner when this mess was cleared up._

_H x._

Ruth looked across into Harry's office and saw him smirking at her. Smiling she hit reply button and began to type.

_Yes, you did. What time do you want to pick me up? R x._

She watched Harry receive the message and type back to her. His eyes flicked to hers and she reflexively stared at her screen as a new message popped up, hoping she wasn’t blushing.

_Seven sound good to you? H x_

_Perfect. I can't wait. I love you. R xxx._

_Say that again. H x_

_I will, later tonight. Don't be late. R xxx_

_I wouldn't dream of it. H xxx._

Ruth smirked and minimized the screen as Beth and Dimitri walked over to her. She couldn't really focus on what they were saying because her brain was working overtime trying to work out what to wear for her first proper date with Harry.


	9. Chapter 9

Ruth had never felt this nervous in her life. Which was completely ridiculous when she considered that she had spent a fair amount of time naked in bed with Harry since she had been kidnapped by Lucas. But this was different. They were going on a proper date and she had got changed into a different outfit six times. She had settled on a nicely cut black dress that she knew she looked good in, but it was more revealing than she was used to. She had thought that simple would probably be best, considering she had no idea where Harry was taking her.

Ruth took a sharp intake of breath as she heard her doorbell ring. She hurried to answer it, knowing it would be Harry. She swung the door open and was immensely pleased to see him wearing her favourite blue shirt which she loved him in. He had several buttons undone, just enough to show a patch of skin which her fingers were itching to stroke. He had a smile on his face which froze when he saw her.

"Wow," he said under his breath. Ruth felt very flattered by his reaction and leant forward to kiss him briefly.

"Where are we going?" she asked picking up her purse. Harry looked her over for a long minute, then kissed her deeply, his hands resting on her back. He drew back for a deep gulp of much needed oxygen before he answered her.

"If you don't hurry up we won't be going anywhere," Harry said under his breath. "You look… amazing."

"Thank you," Ruth said smiling and locking her front door. "So, restaurant?"

* * *

 

An hour or so later Ruth found herself in a beautiful candle lit restaurant having enjoyed one of the greatest meals of her life. The food had been incredible and Harry had been wonderful. She could tell he was making an effort for tonight to be perfect, and it had been.

"That was fantastic," Ruth said, finishing off the champagne that Harry had insisted he treat them to.

"Good," Harry said, his eyes twinkling. "That was the general idea. Was it worth the five year wait from the last time we had dinner together?"

"Yes, but I don't want to wait another five years for the next one," Ruth said happily, unable to look away from him.

"I think its safe to say that it won't be that long again," Harry said smiling at her. Ruth started laughing under her breath. Harry raised his eyebrows and she explained.

"I can't believe you hit him," Ruth said trying to wipe the grin off of her face.

"You're worth it," Harry said quietly. "Plus the arrogant git walking around my office as if he owned it. He's had a punch coming for a long time."

"I'm not complaining."

"I have something for you," Harry said quietly. Ruth raised her eyebrows and waited for him to continue. He put a small box on the restaurant table. Ruth couldn't draw her eyes away from the box, knowing that an engagement ring was held inside. Harry flipped open the box and Ruth was staring at a beautiful diamond ring.

"Marry me," he said quietly. She managed to tear her eyes away from the box long enough to be caught and hypnotised by his eyes. It took her a few long seconds to manage to put her brain in gear and link to her mouth to say anything at all. In those few seconds she saw Harry's face change from hope to disappointment and that almost broke her heart.

For once, she didn’t think. She didn’t consider every single angle, she just said what she felt in her heart, rather than her head. "Yes," she said simply, smiling from the depths of her soul. Harry watched her for a second.

"You really mean that?" he asked. He had to double check. It was Ruth after all.

"Yes," she repeated. Harry silently took the ring out of its box and slipped it onto Ruth's finger. He held her hand tightly, refusing to let go. Not now that she belonged to him once and for all.


	10. Epilogue

"Please tell me that is not the phone ringing," Ruth said sleepily, desperately trying to ignore the shrill beeping interrupting her pleasant dreams. She heard Harry answer it and ignored the conversation as she slipped into a dozy sleep again. She felt Harry shake her shoulder gently, trying to wake her.

"We've got a problem," he said in a quiet voice.

"Can't Thames House survive one long weekend without us?" Ruth asked, refusing to open her eyes. "It’s our honeymoon after all. And we've only been in Paris for a few hours."

"Yes, they can manage but…"

"What?"

"We've got a problem," he repeated. "A Russian type problem."

"Can't your temporary stand in handle it?"

"Because that worked well last time," Harry said sarcastically.

"Oh, he was awful, but he could do the job properly," Ruth teased. "Plus I'm sure Steven Fifer won't set foot on the grid again. Not if he values his face." Harry chuckled and held her close for a minute and kissing the back of her neck lightly.

"Okay," he said quietly. "We won't go back to London, but I'll need to make some calls."

"Make them then," Ruth said, snuggling back into the warm duvet. "I'm going back to sleep." Harry laughed at her slightly as he picked up his mobile and began making arrangements with Dimitri and Beth.

Half an hour later, when everything was sorted out he got back into bed next to Ruth. She mumbled in her sleep as he put a chilly fingers on her hip. She squirmed away from his cold hands until his fingers warmed up and started stroking her softly.

"I love you," she murmured before drifting off again.

"I love you too," Harry told her quietly. “Always will.”


End file.
